


Slim Shimmer

by Maldevinine



Category: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, RWBY
Genre: Diss Track, Song Parody, massive spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29800230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maldevinine/pseuds/Maldevinine
Summary: You know what you need when coming back to yourself? Some elevating music.Massive Spoilers: This work is in response to events in chapter 242 of SAPR by ScipioSmith. If you're not up to that, this won't make much sense.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Slim Shimmer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ScipioSmith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScipioSmith/gifts).
  * Inspired by [SAPR: Volume 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24861475) by [ScipioSmith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScipioSmith/pseuds/ScipioSmith). 



> My apologies to Eminem, this is probably not what he was intending when he wrote the original song. I do like to think that if I actually explained the twisted path that lead to this creation, he'd appreciate the humour. Also apologies to ScipioSmith who's about to get this thing in their inbox. As you may have guessed by now, this is set to Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady". For best effect, you have to imagine it to the Bardcore version of the song.

Straight out of Equstria, we have performing for us tonight Es-in-es!

[Amber on backing vocals]

May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please?

Will the real Shimmer please stand up?

I repeat, will the real Shimmer please stand up?

This is gonna be a bit of a problem here.

[Sunset Shimmer on lead vocals]

Y’all act like you never seen a Pony person before

Jaws all over the floor like Jaune, like Pyrrha just burst in the door and starting whooping his arse worse than spars like she’s going too far just like in class.

Aggh! It’s the return of the.. Ah wait, she didn’t just say what I think she said did she, and Ozpin said… Nothing you idiots! Ozpin’s dead he fried in the basement

Viewers love Es-in-es chicka chicka chicka Shimmer, I’m so sick of her, look at her, walking around, acting like you-know-who, flashing her ma-gic… Yeah but she’s just so tragic

Yeah I’ve probably got a couple of fillies loose up in my head loose but no worse than what’s going on with all this impending doom. But sometimes I just wanna get in a fight and give magic a whirl, but can’t, so why's Ruby allowed to be a magic girl?

The Grimm are on the walls

The Grimm are on the walls

And if I’m lucky I won’t live to see them fall

And that’s the message we deliver to little kids, and expect them not to know what mortal terror is

Of course they’re gonna know what terror is by the time they hit 4th grade they’ve got the history books don’t they

We ain’t nothing but mortals

But some of us are traitors, who get off acting like haters

But if we can have silver eyes and maidens, then there’s no reason that a Pony who’s not can’t be slaying

But if you feel like I feel, I got this saying, Hunters get your weapons out, sing the refrain and it goes..

I’m Sunset Shimmer

Yes I’m the real Shimmer

That other Shimmer is just imitating so won’t the real Shimmer please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

‘Cause I’m Sunset Shimmer

Yes I’m the real Shimmer

That other Shimmer is just imitating so won’t the real Shimmer please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

Pyrrha Nikos don’t gotta cheat in her fights to win fame, well I do, so fuck her and fuck you too.

You think I give a damn about Beacon Academy? Half you students can’t even stomach me, let alone match me. “But Shimmer, what if you pass, wouldn’t that be weird?”

What, so you guys could just lie about where you’re sending me? So you can just send me there, where I’ll be freezing off my rear? Find a dark hole and throw me down, never passing a town, no chance to win renown?

I’m better than that, even when I’m out here chewing the fat, marching through the mountains and down onto the flat.

Cardin’s here, it’s him we’re supposed to fear, but he knows I’m the one who’s got the party’s ear.

I’m sick of all you dark gods and evil gods, all you do is annoy me so I’ve been sent here to destroy you.

And there’s a whole party of us just like me, who fight like me, who are gonna put you down like me, who look up to me, who follow, honour and worship me and just might be the next best thing but not quite me.

‘Cause I’m Sunset Shimmer

Yes I’m the real Shimmer

That other Shimmer is just imitating so won’t the real Shimmer please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

‘Cause I’m Sunset Shimmer

Yes I’m the real Shimmer

That other Shimmer is just imitating so won’t the real Shimmer please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

I’m like a head trip to deal with, ‘cause I know what your nightmares are gonna give the only difference is I got the power to deliver it to y’all and I ain’t going away who ya gonna call?

I just get on my hooves and spit it and whether you like to admit it I just hit it better than 90 percent of you hunters out there.

Then you wonder how the Grimm can fall like wheat when they got the rest of you beat. It’s funny

‘Cause at the rate I’m going when I’m 30 I’ll be the only person on the front lines fightin’ kicking Grimm’s arses while I’m mouthing off at Salem and I’m dominatin’ but even these three rings can’t make me hatin.

And every single Pony is a Sunset Shimmer lurking, I’ve inspired them all to keep workin’ and with time they’re all gonna be learnin’ that your Grimm and nothin’ to fear ‘cause the power of friendship, it’s in here.

So will the real Shimmer please stand up, and raise all the magic in those hands up and be proud to be in other’s minds and taking back control and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I’m Sunset Shimmer

Yes I’m the real Shimmer

That other Shimmer is just imitating so won’t the real Shimmer please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

‘Cause I’m Sunset Shimmer

Yes I’m the real Shimmer

That other Shimmer is just imitating so won’t the real Shimmer please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

‘Cause I’m Sunset Shimmer

Yes I’m the real Shimmer

That other Shimmer is just imitating so won’t the real Shimmer please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

‘Cause I’m Sunset Shimmer

Yes I’m the real Shimmer

That other Shimmer is just imitating so won’t the real Shimmer please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

Heh, guess there’s a little Sunset Shimmer in all of you. Fuck it, let’s all stand up.


End file.
